Trumpocalypse - Limerick

Jim Mattis saw evils galore—

Abuses, offences, and more

This all was quite fine.

He drew a hard line,

However, at not doing war.

Limerick TheWall

It’s really quite clear-can’t you tell?

POTUS is trying to quell

The demons inside him

Who taunt and deride him

With fears of a steel-slatted cell

Day 698

Tuesday 18 December 2018

#POTUS is quick to accuse

And rant with his tweets and abuse

His finger is pointed

With logic-disjointed

While #Mueller is turning the screws

Day 695

Saturday 15 December 2018

Ryan Zinke is saying goodbye.

The bar for corruption was high;

He didn’t quite do it

As well as Scott Pruitt

But seldom neglected to try.

Day 690

Monday 10 December 2018

John Kelly, a key admin member,

Will leave by the end of December.

He stood for kid-taking

& family-breaking,

As history now will remember.

Day 684

Tuesday 4 December 2018

Limerick Trade China

The Tariff Man watched his TV,

Secure in his lair in DC.

He took in the shows

And threatened his foes,

Like China, the Dems, and Scott Free.

Day 677

Tuesday 27 November 2018

GM, when disaster was nigh,

Took bailouts to help it get by.

Its outlook improved,

The risk was removed,

And then it was all like, lol bye

Day 676

Monday 26 November 2018

Limerick Manafort

A fellow in politics, Paul,

Loved various crimes, big and small.

He did them all badly

Yet persevered gladly,

Which ought to inspire us all.

Day 668

Sunday 18 November 2018

Finns travel together outdoors

To forests to tidy the floors.

Whatever it takes,

They do it, with rakes.

Thus fire is kept from their shores

Day 665

Thursday 15 November 2018

A draft plan to leave the EU

Has broken May’s Tories in two,

For some of them feel

The deal must be real

But also a fantasy too.

Day 660

Saturday 10 November 2018

The president hid from the sky,

Which threatened his feeling of dry.

He then learned of fire,

& as it grew dire

He faulted the locals nearby

Day 657

Wednesday 7 November 2018

The AG Jeff Sessions (“Magoo”)

Was suddenly told he was through.

He left as directed,

Reflecting, dejected,

On racisms still left to do.

The top legal chap in the land

Who balked at his boss' demand

To cause the expiry

Of Mueller's inquiry

And thus obstruct justice, was canned

Day 649

Tuesday 30 October 2018

There once was a fellow named Wohl

Who wanted Bob Mueller to fall.

His plan fell apart

As he wasn’t smart,

But many were glad for the lol.

Day 642

Tuesday 23 October 2018

The GOP’s Kemp did his best

But privately feels a bit stressed.

He looks at the vote

& can’t help but note

A lot of it’s still unsuppressed.

Day 640

Sunday 21 October 2018

The White House intends to insist

That trans people do not exist

And by definition

Can’t have recognition.

However, they do and are pissed.

Day 635

Tuesday 16 October 2018

Limerick SaudiArabia Pompeo

An autocrat prince had a staff

To act on his royal behalf,

Including a squad

For murders abroad.

Pompeo and he shared a laugh.

Day 623

Thursday 4 October 2018

Embattled, Brett Kavanaugh pled

His case in a final op-ed.

“You saw me act badly

Repeatedly—sadly,

The libs made me do it,” he said.

Day 621

Tuesday 2 October 2018

Limerick TaxDollars ButHerEmails

No wonder Don hid his returns—

This grifter hoards all that he earns.

We turned down a female

Because of her email,

Electing, instead, Mr. Burns.

Limerick TaxDollars

As privileged wealthy elites,

The Trumps, in their taxes, were cheats.

Their goal as a squad

Was oftentimes fraud.

The NYT has the receipts.

Day 617

Friday 28 September 2018

“I’ve taken the time to assess:

My vote, FYI, will be yes”

Said Jeff Flake, who preaches

In grandiose speeches

On virtues he doesn’t possess

Day 616

Thursday 27 September 2018

Dr. Blasey was put in the chair,

But Brett’s buddy Mark wasn’t there.

Republican men,

Back at it again,

Were only pretending to care.

Day 612

Sunday 23 September 2018

Dark tales from Brett Kavanaugh’s past

Left everyone privy aghast.

The GOP heard,

Reflected, conferred,

And worked on confirming him fast.

Day 610

Friday 21 September 2018

Ms May, near the end of her rope,

Went off with a last bit of hope.

She told the EU

What she wanted to do

& the EU was all like, “lol, nope”

Day 607

Tuesday 18 September 2018

Limerick Stormy

The lovable character Toad

Is one to whom better is owed.

As new revelations

Add grim connotations,

He carries a difficult load.

Day 606

Monday 17 September 2018

“These new accusations are noise,

Just further political ploys.

The real victim here

Is him, to be clear

And anyway, boys will be boys.”

Day 594

Wednesday 5 September 2018

Limerick Lodestar

A chap slightly tidied the mess

Of the president of the US.

“Heroic and brave,”

Concluded a rave

He wrote of himself in the press.

Day 592

Monday 3 September 2018

Limerick Bannon

A New Yorker event was in flux;

The fiasco had one single crux:

The mag being willing

To offer top billing

To Stephen K. Bannon, who sucks.

Day 585

Monday 27 August 2018

Limerick McCain

A prominent senator passed

And public reaction came fast.

Some noted his flaws,

Some offered applause,

And Trump was a dick to the last.

Limerick Trade Mexico Canada

The president stated he'd made

A new deal for Mex.-US trade.

He furthermore said

That NAFTA was dead,

And then he threw Canada shade.

Day 579

Tuesday 21 August 2018

Limerick Cohen Manafort

With fanfare and plenty of pomp

Trump promised he'd empty the swamp,

But hadn't foreseen

This could possibly mean

His gang goes to prison (womp womp)

Limerick Cohen Manafort

The president’s people are keen

On doing big crimes, as we’ve seen.

Indeed, all in all,

Just Michael and Paul

Are guilty at least of sixteen.

Day 573

Wednesday 15 August 2018

Limerick Conway

The media liked Kellyanne

As well as George Conway, her man,

The partner in marriage

She’d try to disparage

On background in pieces they ran

Day 572

Tuesday 14 August 2018

Limerick Omarosa

The chap is a racist who slurs,

As anyone watching infers.

However, of late,

There is a debate

Concerning which slurs he prefers.

Day 566

Wednesday 8 August 2018

Limerick Omarosa

Few people of color got closer

To Trump than celeb Omarosa.

She says he seems gross

But really, up close,

In private, off mic, he is grosser

Day 559

Wednesday 1 August 2018

Limerick Manafort

TFW you fancy fine clothes

Like ostrich couture by the pros

& pay your suppliers

From Cyprus, in wires,

With earnings you failed to disclose

Day 553

Thursday 26 July 2018

Mr. Cohen says Mr. Trump knew

And calls his denials untrue.

This airing of laundry

Has led to a quandary,

For Cohen lies frequently, too.

Day 547

Friday 20 July 2018

A Trump tape has come to the fore,

Creating excitement once more.

He acts rather badly

Within it, but sadly

It isn’t the pee tape of lore.

Day 545

Wednesday 18 July 2018

Elizabeth Windsor, we’re told,

Is growing politically bold.

They say her approach is

To vary her brooches,

Thus rendering enemies trolled.

Day 544

Tuesday 17 July 2018

Mr Trump loves oppressive regimes,

& wishes he had one, it seems.

His heart’s overawed

By tyrants abroad

And Putin’s the stuff of his dreams

Day 542

Sunday 15 July 2018

Limerick UK EU

The foe, in the president’s view,

Is foremost & first the EU.

The Brexiting Brits,

He therefore submits,

Should call off discussions & sue.

Day 535

Sunday 8 July 2018

To UN events beating drums

The US recurrently comes

With aims to oppose

The plans of its foes—

Most recently, breastfeeding mums.

Day 532

Thursday 5 July 2018

Limerick Pruitt

Farewell to Scott Pruitt, a guy

Who set the corruption bar high.

No matter how small

Or off-of-the-wall,

He always was willing to try.

Day 530

Tuesday 3 July 2018

The President stood at the fore

Explaining what caps are used for,

A notable feet

That no one can beet:

A pres who has conquered grade four!

Day 529

Monday 2 July 2018

The POTUS would like, for a start,

More power to rip trade apart,

Reported the press

Upon its success

In catching a draft of his FART.

Day 525

Thursday 28 June 2018

Mr. Kennedy tended to swing.

This was, it was stated, his thing.

And when he was quitting

He ended his sitting

By having a Trumpian fling.

Day 523

Tuesday 26 June 2018

SCOTUS Limerick TravelBan

For Sonia Sotomayor,

This ruling is one to deplore.

The ban, she has written,

Is just as beshitten

With bigoted aims as before.

Day 521

Sunday 24 June 2018

Some people were cruel by design

Then went out in public to dine.

Upon being viewed

These people were booed

& had a bad time, which is fine.

Day 517

Wednesday 20 June 2018

Limerick Immigration Miller

The White House may alter a rule

And be less horrendously cruel,

An absolute bummer

To kick off the summer

For aide Stephen Miller, a ghoul.

Day 515

Monday 18 June 2018

Limerick Immigration

The US takes kids of young age

And puts them inside of a cage.

“It’s by definition

A chainlink partition!”

Conservative media rage.

Day 512

Friday 15 June 2018

Limerick Manafort

The ongoing Manafort tale

Now sees him proceeding to jail.

He likes to commit

Big crimes quite a bit,

So did a few more while on bail.

Day 511

Thursday 14 June 2018

Limerick Sessions Immigration

Attorney Jeff Sessions is keen

On verses from Romans 13.

‘To stabilize order,

Snatch kids at the border’

Is what he imagines they mean.

Day 509

Tuesday 12 June 2018

The POTUS and Kim built rappor

And aren’t irate like before,

And so we give thanks

To two massive wanks

For not doing nuclear war.

Day 508

Monday 11 June 2018

His very own personal loo

Accompanied Kim when he flew

So enemy spies

Cannot analyse

The DPRK Leader's poo.

Day 507

Sunday 10 June 2018

And Trump's new trade war has begun

The G7 summit is done

The other six feel

If Trump wants a deal

He'll have to set up the G1.

Day 506

Saturday 9 June 2018

A meeting was held by a group

To chatter and stay in the loop.

One member, the Yankee,

Was whiny and cranky,

Contributing little but 💩.

Day 503

Wednesday 6 June 2018

Limerick Canada

The president said in a blitz

Canucks burnt the White House to bits,

Inaccurate words

Upsetting to nerds,

Who noted the culprits were Brits.

Day 498

Friday 1 June 2018

Now 22 days have gone by,

And many feel something’s awry.

They can’t help but notice

There isn’t a FLOTUS

Or much indication of why.

Day 497

Thursday 31 May 2018

Limerick Canada Trade

Mr. Trump as a candidate swore

He’d bring back the US of yore.

So, getting things done,

This week he’s begun

A US-Canadian war.

Day 493

Sunday 27 May 2018

The president tearfully sighs,

Recalling his beautiful guys,

Who tended at times

To do major crimes

But did them with stars in their eyes.

Day 492

Saturday 26 May 2018

Limerick AltFacts

The president’s very at ease

With lies of all types and degrees.

He now with insistence

Denies the existence

Of one of his top employees.

Day 490

Thursday 24 May 2018

Old President Trump, on a whim,

Has cancelled his summit with Kim;

If Trump had his eyes

On a Nobel Peace Prize,

The prospects now look pretty slim.

Day 482

Wednesday 16 May 2018

Michael Cohen kept working to sell

The Moscow Trump Tower hotel.

A tireless plotter,

He tried to get Qatar

To pay him a million as well.

Day 480

Monday 14 May 2018

Limerick MiddleEast

Ivanka and Jared were thrilled

To witness Trump's promise fulfilled,

And show the U.S.

Just couldn't care less

How many protesters are killed.

Day 474

Tuesday 8 May 2018

Melania’s team had a goal,

A new way of using her role:

Help children “Be Best,”

A theme they expressed

By launching a booklet they stole.

Day 468

Wednesday 2 May 2018

Limerick Giuliani Cohen Stormy

Giuliani, a man of the bar,

Knows what the best strategies are:

You have to at times

Confirm all the crimes,

A genius form of PR.

Day 463

Friday 27 April 2018

Limerick Ryan

Paul Ryan is simply not fine

With Jesuits crossing the line.

“Let taxes be fair,”

Said one in a prayer,

So Paul made the fellow resign.

Day 462

Thursday 26 April 2018

Mr Trump is an elderly felly

Who often is cranky and yelly.

He will without warning

Call Fox in the morning

Because he’s upset at the telly.

Day 452

Monday 16 April 2018

Proceedings unfolding in court

Have led to a shocking report.

It seems from this case

Fox may be a place

Where ethical standards fall short.

Day 449

Friday 13 April 2018

Limerick Cohen Mueller RussiaProbe

Was Cohen in Prague for a deal,

As earlier noted by Steele?

Who set up the talks?

Who hacked all the docs?

The pee tape—is it… is it real?

Day 447

Wednesday 11 April 2018

Limerick Ryan

Farewell to Paul Ryan, who stood

And steadfastly did all he could

To lower the floor

Of aid for the poor,

Who had it, he reckoned, too good.

Day 445

Monday 9 April 2018

Limerick Cohen Stormy

There’s just been an FBI raid

On Cohen, who acted to aid

His longtime employer,

A mistress-enjoyer,

By getting such mistresses paid.

Day 441

Thursday 5 April 2018

Pruitt Ethics Limerick

There was an old fellow named Pruitt

Whose EPA goal was to screw it.

He quickly demoted

Officials who noted

The ways he attempted to do it.

Day 429

Saturday 24 March 2018

Limerick Guns

From Washington west to LA,

The teens are out marching today.

They’re done with BS

And won’t acquiesce

But rather are leading the way.

Day 427

Thursday 22 March 2018

Limerick Bolton McMaster

John Bolton, a noted disaster,

Is subbing for H.R. McMaster.

A chap who adores

Aggression and wars,

He schemes to engender them faster.

The president’s lawyer John Dowd

Knew legally what was allowed

But quit as his boss

Did not give a toss

And always said quiet parts loud.

Day 425

Tuesday 20 March 2018

A fellow objected to thought,

Refusing to learn or be taught,

Like when he’d applaud

A strongman abroad

In spite of instructions to not.

Day 421

Friday 16 March 2018

The president opted to rob

McCabe of his pension and job.

McCabe says it’s slander

To claim he lacks candor

And feels this is all about Bob.

Day 418

Tuesday 13 March 2018

The president of the U.S.

Picks candidates known for success.

His new nominee,

The spy-boss-to-be,

In fact was a top torturess.

Day 414

Friday 9 March 2018

“We plan to agree on a day

And meet for discussions by May;

We’ll work to increase

Our chances for peace,”

The dotard and rocket man say.

Day 410

Monday 5 March 2018

Sam Nunberg is taking a pause

From being compliant with laws.

“I’ll simply say no,”

He said, “And not go,”

A theory with notable flaws.

Day 407

Friday 2 March 2018

Trump’s tariffing steel & aluminum,

As he is a fellow with gloominum.

The people who’ll pay,

Economists say,

Are everyday people consuminum.

Day 403

Monday 26 February 2018

Limerick China

Mr. Xi, in a bit of a coup,

Got changes he wanted pushed through.

The state now affirms

That his limit for terms

Is infinity, rather than two

Day 398

Wednesday 21 February 2018

The president sat in his chair.

A group of survivors was there.

He looked at a note

An aide of his wrote

And thus was reminded to care.

Day 392

Thursday 15 February 2018

Limerick Pruitt

The EPA’s Pruitt, alas,

Could only fly up in first class.

In coach class, he knew,

Some boor such as you

Would show disrespect, using sass.

Day 380

Saturday 3 February 2018

Limerick Ryan

Paul Ryan is proud of the way

His bill has an impact on pay.

The richest get billions

And lower-class millions

As much as a quarter a day.

Day 377

Wednesday 31 January 2018

Limerick ButHerEmails

An FBI fellow named Peter

Was seen as a pro-Clinton cheater,

Yet far from abet her

He drafted the letter

That probably helped to defeat her.

Day 376

Tuesday 30 January 2018

Limerick Sessions Mueller

The POTUS, a man of obsessions,

May undertake further aggressions.

He’s angry at Bob

For doing his job

And thinking of siccing Jeff Sessions

Day 371

Thursday 25 January 2018

The pres, feeling mad and harassed,

Demanded Bob’s ouster, and fast.

But Bob wasn’t fired

For as it transpired

The pres’s MO was half-assed.

Day 368

Monday 22 January 2018

Government Shutdown Day 3

Limerick Shutdown

The top Senate Democrat, Chuck,

Appears to be trying his luck,

Accepting a pitch

Put forward by Mitch,

Who’s known to be sneaky AF.

Day 357

Thursday 11 January 2018

Limerick Immigration

A fellow judged others by race

And grew a political base.

Those lands far away

Are shitholes, he'd say,

Neglecting the one in his face.

Mr. Trump’s an intelligent guy

Whose mental capacity’s high.

An absolute pro,

He just doesn’t know

What bills he endorses or why.

Day 348

Tuesday 2 January 2018

Beginning ’18 with a bang

The president wrote of his wang,

His method of dealing

With what he was feeling

While thinking of Kim in Pyongyang

Limerick Infra

The fellow who's leading the nation

Took credit for safe aviation,

A feat he believed

Was somehow achieved

While golfing on Christmas vacation

Day 345

Saturday 30 December 2017

Papadopolous couldn’t resist,

And offered an Aussie the gist

Of recent discussions

Re oppo from Russians

One evening in London while pissed.

Day 343

Thursday 28 December 2017

Milo Y. of the radical right

Believed he was witty and bright,

But Simon & Schuster,

His erstwhile booster,

Concluded his writing was shite.

Day 334

Tuesday 19 December 2017

Limerick TaxDollars Ryan

Paul Ryan was joyful inside,

A spring in his step, his grin wide,

For scratching an itch,

He’d serviced the rich

And very successfully lied.

Day 327

Tuesday 12 December 2017

Limerick Moore Bannon

Alabamians voted Doug Jones

In key geographical zones.

Steve Bannon was sure

He’d win with Roy Moore

But didn’t, which honestly owns.

Day 323

Friday 8 December 2017

Limerick Harassment

There was an old congressman, Trent,

Who had a reserve he wished spent.

He’d walk into rooms,

Identify wombs,

And ask re: deposits and rent.

Day 319

Monday 4 December 2017

Trump’s personal lawyer John Dowd

Is very astute & high-browed.

When you are the pres,

This gentleman says,

Obstruction, in fact, is allowed

Limerick Moore

The RNC folks have the means

To finance campaigning machines.

They paused and reflected,

And then they elected

To fund a molester of teens.

Day 314

Wednesday 29 November 2017

Limerick UK Hate

The president strongly agrees

With fash propaganda he sees.

He mainly supports

American sorts

But sometimes will reach overseas.

Day 308

Thursday 23 November 2017

Limerick Flynn Mueller RussiaProbe

Bob Mueller is making a deal,

Anonymous sources reveal.

Reporters were tipped

That Flynn likely flipped,

Suggesting shit soon may get real.

Day 304

Sunday 19 November 2017

Limerick China

The president managed to swing

A bit of a win in Beijing.

He then launched attacks

On various blacks,

Which really is more of his thing.

Day 294

Thursday 9 November 2017

Limerick Moore

Conservatives rose to defend

Roy Moore, their Republican friend.

“Is groping a kid,"

They said, “If he did,

So bad of a thing, in the end?”

Day 285

Tuesday 31 October 2017

John Kelly appeared on TV

To speak of the news in DC,

And so, holding forth,

He chided the North

And eulogized Robert E. Lee.

Day 284

Monday 30 October 2017

It typically looks a bit bad

When one of the staffers you had

Pursued stolen email

Supplied by a female

Who claimed a relation to Vlad.

Day 282

Saturday 28 October 2017

Limerick Mueller RussiaProbe

Bob Mueller, the fellow inquiring,

Continued his efforts, untiring,

So in a short while

We may see a trial

Or else a Nixonian firing.

Day 273

Thursday 19 October 2017

John Kelly, who optimists thought

Would use the position he got

To try to begin

To make the admin

Less generally awful, did not.

Day 262

Sunday 8 October 2017

Limerick Pence

There is an old fellow named Pence

Whose hobby is taking offence.

He does it some days

In gimmicky ways

As well as at public expense.

Day 259

Thursday 5 October 2017

Limerick Bannon Nazi

There was a Breitbartian plot

That journalists managed to spot.

It turned out this site

For news on the right

Was nazier, even, than thought

Day 258

Wednesday 4 October 2017

Limerick Tillerson

Addressing the media, Rex

Tried hard to reverse the effects.

The moron, his boss,

He stated, half cross,

Is someone he deeply respects.

Day 243

Tuesday 19 September 2017

A fellow who used to get love

For being a relative dove

Announced his idea:

Address North Korea

With fire and death, from above.

Day 239

Friday 15 September 2017

Elicited partisan rancor.

An ESPN host and anchor

Now network PR

Says she went too far

In calling a wanker a wanker.

Day 236

Tuesday 12 September 2017

Likes various tweets that he views,

Republican senator Cruz

Including the kind

He happens to find

He’s able to privately use.

Day 231

Thursday 7 September 2017

Limerick Russia Election

The US election saw lots

Of users online sharing thoughts

But some were discussions

Concocted by Russians

& most of those Russians were bots

Day 227

Sunday 3 September 2017

Limerick Immigration Sessions

The POTUS, confirming impressions,

Is set to rebuff intercessions

And cancel an act

That bigots attacked,

Thus pleasuring Jefferson Sessions

Limerick China NorthKorea

The chap in the president’s role

Who’s also an internet troll

Heard Kim did a thing

So threatened Beijing

Soon after disparaging Seoul.

Day 225

Friday 1 September 2017

Jim Comey was sent on his way

Four months ago, early in May,

An act the admin

Continues to spin

Nonsensically even today.

Day 224

Thursday 31 August 2017

Limerick Hurricane

While POTUS has promised he will

Donate the amount of $1mil.

To Texas relief,

Most people's belief

That he'll do it is virtually nil

Day 218

Friday 25 August 2017

Limerick Gorka Arpaio

So Gorka resigned in defeat

Arpeio is back on the street

A hurricane looms

Portending our dooms

+ more news than could fit in 1 tweet

Limerick Arpaio

A sheriff was racist for sport,

So much so he flouted the court,

Becoming in time

Convicted of crime,

And thus won the pres’s support.

Day 217

Thursday 24 August 2017

A chap who is like a small child

And overly easily riled

Now only reviews

Selections of news

A nearby adult has compiled.

Day 214

Monday 21 August 2017

Limerick Afghanistan

His thoughts are worth less than a penny

And for insights he hasn't got any

Just umlimited war

And we're sending some more

But who knows for how long or how many.

Day 208

Tuesday 15 August 2017

Limerick Nazi

Congrats to today’s GOP

On backing a fine nominee,

Now busy befriending

The Nazis defending

Confederate Robert E. Lee.

Day 203

Thursday 10 August 2017

If Vladimir Putin severely

Affronts US diplomats, clearly

A principled POTUS

Will take proper notice

And thank Mr. Putin sincerely.

Day 202

Wednesday 9 August 2017

A chicken that many compare

With Trump features bright orange hair,

An angry complexion,

A roundish mid-section

And bigly amounts of hot air

Limerick Tillerson NorthKorea

"I know that the president might

Have spoken in ways to incite,

For instance, that he

Might start WW3,

But don't let it ruin your night"

Day 199

Sunday 6 August 2017

Limerick Pence

In secret the VP intended

To challenge the pres, some contended.

But Pence, you’ll recall,

Has no spine at all

& said he was deeply offended

Day 196

Thursday 3 August 2017

Limerick Australia Russia

“Hey Malcolm, this convo is bad

Compared to the ones that I had

Just hours ago

With leaders you know,

For instance [sighs wistfully] Vlad.”

Day 194

Tuesday 1 August 2017

Limerick Junior RussiaProbe

It’s said that to be a good dad

Means telling your grown, adult lad

Who’s caught in a mess

And facing the press

What level of lying to add.

Limerick AltFacts

A Trump pal, a lawsuit implies,

Was able to spread awful lies

Through friends in the crews

At TV's Fox News,

Which isn’t the hugest surprise

Day 193

Monday 31 July 2017

Limerick Scaramucci

Scaramucci is slated to leave

Despite what he came to achieve,

Like colourful cussing

And phone calls discussing

The autofellations of Steve

Day 190

Friday 28 July 2017

Limerick Priebus

Consider applying within

And joining the current admin

If you have a taste

For being debased

And afterward tossed in the bin.

Limerick Scaramucci

A spokesman decidedly rash

Used vulgar expressions to trash

Some prominent men

Which newspapers then

Reported with stars or a dash

Day 189

Thursday 27 July 2017

Limerick Scaramucci Bannon

Scaramucci described on the phone

What Bannon can master alone

For he has no prob

Performing a job

And finishing all on his own.

Day 187

Tuesday 25 July 2017

Limerick McCain HealthCare

McCain is no average civilian

His 💗 is so cold it's reptilian

while taxpayers pay

For his healthcare he'll say

let’s strip it from 22 million

“The thing that’s important, you see,

Is rendering fealty to me

And hating all those

I see as my foes,”

He said to a youth jamboree.

Limerick McCain HealthCare

A chap was so wise and mature,

His heart so courageous and pure,

Though ailing, he stood

And did all he could

To help disadvantage the poor.

Day 183

Friday 21 July 2017

Limerick Spicer Scaramucci

A fellow who never grew tired

Of lying whenever required

Abandoned this mission

And quit his position

When someone annoying was hired.

Day 182

Thursday 20 July 2017

The Russia inquirer, Bob,

Is asking, as part of his job,

If Trump corporations

Had sketchy relations

With oligarchs, banks, or the mob.

Day 181

Wednesday 19 July 2017

Limerick Sessions RussiaProbe

“I wanted my buddy Jeff Sessions

To probe my alleged transgressions

(My pick for AG

Was all about me),”

Said Trump, amid other confessions.

Day 179

Monday 17 July 2017

Limerick McConnell HealthCare

The BCRA, it transpires,

Is short of the votes it requires

So may not endure

And harm all the poor

Like Mr. McConnell desires.

The AG and Keebler-in-chief

Says even if you're not a thief,

"Suspicion's enuf

To sell all your stuff

And fund the police" (Oh, good grief!)

Day 176

Friday 14 July 2017

Limerick Conway RussiaProbe

Said Kellyanne Conway, “I’d add

That none of it really is bad.

Was anyone caught

Colluding a lot?

No, only colluding a tad.”

Day 173

Tuesday 11 July 2017

Limerick Junior RussiaProbe

TFW you’re plotting with Russians

And lie to avoid repercussions,

But one of your bro’s

Old messages shows

The shadiness of the discussions.

Day 172

Monday 10 July 2017

Limerick Junior RussiaProbe

A chap at the president’s side

Who earlier publicly lied

Now says though he hid

The business he did,

He didn’t collude—he just tried.

Day 170

Saturday 8 July 2017

Limerick Russia WarOnNews

The presidents had a good start,

Their chemistry off of the chart.

“Reporters are bad,

I reckon,” said Vlad,

Thus winning the POTUS’s heart.

The one with the orangey hair

Abandoned his G20 chair

Cuz dealing with crisIs

Like famine and ISIS

Just needed some daughterly flair

Day 164

Sunday 2 July 2017

The prez wanted people to see

How manly and brave he could be,

So woke up and made

A tweet that portrayed

Fake wrestling he did for TV.

Day 162

Friday 30 June 2017

Limerick TravelBan

America’s targeted ban

Proceeding according to plan

Will keep it secure

And help it endure

By outlawing visits from gran.

Day 158

Monday 26 June 2017

Republicans up on the Hill

Said, “This is good news for the ill;

Just kindly ignore

That CBO score

Plus most of the actual bill.”

Day 156

Saturday 24 June 2017

Limerick Kushner MiddleEast

A son-in-law no one elected

Who isn’t adept or respected

But likes to pretend

Will not, in the end,

Build Middle East peace, it’s suspected.

Day 154

Thursday 22 June 2017

It’s time to start taking the lead

The GOP Senate’s agreed:

And work side by side

To try to provide

The wealthy the help that they need.

Day 148

Friday 16 June 2017

McCain and his buds will pursue

A bill on health policy, too,

Except on the sly

Without knowing why

While hazy on what it will do.

Day 146

Wednesday 14 June 2017

A chap who won voters and praise

By promising anti-swamp ways

Was probed for high crime

Within a short time

(One hundred & forty-five days).

Day 145

Tuesday 13 June 2017

Will now testify publicly

The freakishly elfin AG

About his discussions

With multiple Russians

But will he be truthful? We'll see

Day 140

Thursday 8 June 2017

The fellow Trump opted to fire

Wrote memos consistently prior

For he came to notice

The shady new POTUS

Was also, by nature, a liar.

Day 137

Monday 5 June 2017

President Trump, who's a liar

Calls UK security dire

But there in the States

Their homicide rates

Are orders of magnitude higher

Day 133

Thursday 1 June 2017

The fellow elected last fall,

A crackpot, as you will recall,

Has taken a stance

That has a fair chance

Of finally dooming us all.

Day 132

Wednesday 31 May 2017

Limerick ICanSpell

A fellow was left with his phone,

His favourite thing, as is known,

And sat in its light

Unsleeping at night.

“Covfefe,” he tweeted, alone.

Day 127

Friday 26 May 2017

Limerick Kushner

A chap keen on getting in bed

With Kremlin officials once said

As tensions were high

He wanted to try

To do it at their place instead.

Day 126

Thursday 25 May 2017

Reportedly, Spicer had hope

Of going and greeting the Pope

With aides and the FLOTUS

Alongside the POTUS

In Vatican City, but nope.

A candidate out in Montana

Beneath the Republican banner

Appearing to snap

Assaulted a chap

Then lied in an obvious manner.

Day 125

Wednesday 24 May 2017

“Duterte, I know that it’s late;

However, I wanted to state

I long have believed

That what you’ve achieved

By murdering people is great.”

Day 117

Tuesday 16 May 2017

An FBI fellow named James

Was kept from achieving his aims

But wrote memoranda

With detail and candour

And now is all set to name names.

Day 116

Monday 15 May 2017

Limerick Russia Leaks

Making America Great

Is all about telling it straight,

E.g., in discussions

In which you give Russians

Your sensitive secrets of state.

Limerick AltFacts

In Washington, staffers may use

Fake news as a bit of a ruse.

They use it to ply

An elderly guy

With notably uninformed views.

Day 112

Thursday 11 May 2017

You know that expression you hear,

The one that’s been known to appear

On econ book pages

In English for ages?

I made it up early this year.

Day 111

Wednesday 10 May 2017

There is no collusion, he stressed,

& then he invited his guest,

A rep of the Russians,

For private discussions

At Vladimir Putin’s request.

Day 110

Tuesday 9 May 2017

A crooked old ruler who fired

A fellow of whom he'd grown tired

Explained it by citing

Some actions and writing

He often had said he admired

Day 109

Monday 8 May 2017

Ms Yates as AG tried to tell

Admin top officials as well

About the discussions

Flynn had with the Russians

And they were like, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lol

Day 108

Sunday 7 May 2017

Limerick France Nazi

Le Pen didn’t come out on top

But had quite a sizeable flop—

A flop, it is reckoned,

That only comes second

To that of her nazier pop.

Day 105

Thursday 4 May 2017

Have settled upon their positions:

US GOP politicians

They’ll go arm in arm

And vote to cause harm

To folks with existing conditions.

Day 101

Sunday 30 April 2017

The president recently rang

A chum in the populist gang,

The noted mass killer

Who rules in Manila,

Inviting him over to hang.

Day 99

Friday 28 April 2017

A billionaire fellow who’s had

Life easy since he was a lad

Sat down in his quarters

And said to reporters

His job is too hard and he’s sad.

Day 96

Tuesday 25 April 2017

Limerick Canada

The president wished to make good

On pledges for which he had stood

But couldn’t erect

His wall, in effect,

So pounced on Canadian wood.

Day 93

Saturday 22 April 2017

Limerick Science

Researchers, fed up with attacks,

Went marching together in packs,

A nerdy alliance

Promoting good science

And real, non-alternative facts.

Day 88

Monday 17 April 2017

Limerick Turkey

Congrats on your recent success!

Said the president of the US

To the ethically murky

Top fellow in Turkey

Who tilted a vote toward Yes.

Day 82

Tuesday 11 April 2017

“Well Hitler at least had the class

To not use a chemical gas,

Although, I would add,

He also was bad,”

Said Spicer, a notable ass.

Day 78

Friday 7 April 2017

Limerick Syria Missile

A fellow who lacks expertise,

Lies often, and hates refugees

Has won new supporters

In various quarters

By dropping big bombs overseas.

Day 76

Wednesday 5 April 2017

Limerick Bannon Flynn

Put briefly, the White House’s spin

Is Bannon was only put in

To keep a close eye

On one shifty guy,

The nut they appointed, Mike Flynn.

Day 74

Monday 3 April 2017

Limerick Gorka Nazi

The prez faces pressure to fire

Seb Gorka, a prominent hire

Who’s presently paid

To serve as an aide

But likely did Nazi stuff prior.

Day 70

Thursday 30 March 2017

Limerick Flynn RussiaProbe

A chap who conducted discussions

In shady conditions with Russians

Then lied & misled

Has recently said

He’ll snitch to evade repercussions.

Limerick Pence

Apparently VPOTUS Pence

Is super-attractive, and hence

He can't just be pals

With regular gals

The way that he can be with gents

Day 66

Sunday 26 March 2017

Some leaders on Capitol Hill

Drew up a significant bill.

It fell very short

In terms of support,

As garbage quite commonly will.

Day 64

Friday 24 March 2017

The author of Art of the Deal

Has learned that you can not repeal

The laws of the land

By only one hand

Or personal so-called "appeal"

Day 63

Thursday 23 March 2017

Maternity care in the States

Is settled by means of debates

Involving, we’ve seen,

Discussions between

A middle-aged bloke & his mates.

Day 62

Wednesday 22 March 2017

Limerick Manafort Russia

Paul Manafort, AP contends,

Agreed to serve Vladimir’s ends,

For which this ex-aide

Was handsomely paid

By one of his oligarch friends.

Day 60

Monday 20 March 2017

Limerick Comey Wiretap

The prez, a bananapants chap,

Said Brits and Barack did a tap.

The FBI’s James,

However, proclaims

This all is a big load of crap.

Day 56

Thursday 16 March 2017

Limerick TaxDollars

As Donald deliberately guts

Departments thru budgeting cuts

He shows he's not merely

Inept but is clearly

A POTUS who's totally nuts

Day 55

Wednesday 15 March 2017

Limerick TravelBan

There was a malevolent man

Who failed in attempting a ban,

For as it transpired

The henchmen he hired

Revealed his nefarious plan.

Day 54

Tuesday 14 March 2017

Limerick HealthCare Ryan

The bill Mr. Ryan has sold

Creates a new balance, all told,

Assisting the wealthy

And youthful and healthy

While soaking the needy and old.

Day 52

Sunday 12 March 2017

The saga of AG Jeff Sessions'

Russian discussion confessions

Is really just one

Of a literal ton

Of regrettable White House transgressions.

Day 51

Saturday 11 March 2017

The logic is simple: in short,

A Bureau of Labor report

Is fake in the end

Unless it can lend

The president’s ego support.

Day 47

Tuesday 7 March 2017

Limerick Chaffetz

“How odd that the low-income ill

Complain about prices, yet still

Have money to own

A functional phone,”

Said Chaffetz, defending the bill.

Day 43

Friday 3 March 2017

And cover it with perjury

Jeff Sessions, the US AG

Decided it's OK to be

Having discussions

With shadowy Russians

Day 42

Thursday 2 March 2017

Jeff Sessions denied allegations

Of iffy campaign operations.

The Post asked around,

However, and found

That Russia and he had relations.

Day 41

Wednesday 1 March 2017

A populist racist in power

Whose attitude’s typically dour

Won praise from the press

Across the US

By toning it down for an hour.

Day 37

Saturday 25 February 2017

The dinner intended to poke

Some fun at the orange haired bloke

Was quickly declined

Cuz Don couldn't find

A staffer to teach him a joke

Day 36

Friday 24 February 2017

Limerick WarOnNews Leaks

The president stated his view:

Those notable leaks were all true;

However, their source

Was fake, as of course

The media’s stories were, too

Day 35

Thursday 23 February 2017

Limerick Education

DeVos, in her cabinet spot,

Reportedly gave some real thought

To using her clout

To help trans kids out

Before she decided to not.

Day 33

Tuesday 21 February 2017

Republicans bailed on town halls

& sidestepped constituents’ calls.

These various choices

Led critical voices

To posit an absence of balls.

Day 32

Monday 20 February 2017

Limerick Sweden

The nation’s new leader proceeds

To do what America needs:

Develop fixations

On dumb allegations

That irritate masses of Swedes.

Day 30

Saturday 18 February 2017

There once was an old adult male

Whose ego was awfully frail.

He won an election

But craved more affection

So promptly returned to the trail

Day 28

Thursday 16 February 2017

Is something he simply transcends,

Racism, Donald contends,

And, as it occurs,

He also infers

That black people all are close friends.

Day 25

Monday 13 February 2017

Flynn Limerick Russia

Apparently meeting with Russians

For super suspicious discussions

Then telling your guys

Conspicuous lies

Can lead to adverse repercussions.

Limerick Canada

The PM and prez’s joint session

Was all about tact and discretion

Unless one should count

The minor amount

Of Canadian passive-aggression.

Day 24

Sunday 12 February 2017

Limerick Miller

“No judges or media pool

Shall question the president’s rule;

His powers are vast

And shan’t be surpassed,”

Said Miller, a literal ghoul.

Day 21

Thursday 9 February 2017

Limerick TravelBan

A court gave the prez no support,

And so he devised a retort.

This prez, who is smart,

Applied all his art

And settled on SEE YOU IN COURT.

That Sessions should not be resisted

A GOP loudmouth insisted

The notion was foreign

To Senator Warren,

So, nevertheless, she persisted

Limerick Conway

Ms. Conway appeared on Fox News

To talk up the POTUS's views.

(Each half-truth & lie

Was brought to you by

Ivanka Trump’s clothing & shoes.)

Day 18

Monday 6 February 2017

Said Spicer, “Reports in the press

Are often a factual mess.

For instance I’ve found

No bathrobes around

While watching the president dress”

The British decidedly panned

A Commons address POTUS planned

To punish behaviour

And give him a flavour

Of what it feels like to be banned

Day 17

Sunday 5 February 2017

The fellow elected last fall

Said, “Yes, Mr. Putin’s played ball

By ordering crimes

Like murder at times,

But honestly, haven’t we all?”

Day 13

Wednesday 1 February 2017

Continuing, Mr. Trump read

A tribute to Douglass (long dead).

“He’s gaining more notice,”

Contended the POTUS,

“& has a bright future ahead”

Day 11

Monday 30 January 2017

Has thought it all over and states

The US AG, Sally Yates,

She can’t argue pro

The garbage EO

Cooked up by the prez and his mates.

Day 10

Sunday 29 January 2017

Limerick Priebus

Said Reince after pausing to choose

The words he desired to use,

“The Holocaust sadly

Hurt everyone badly,

Including, I gather, the Jews.”

Day 9

Saturday 28 January 2017

Limerick TravelBan Ryan

“It’s not like the POTUS’s goal

Is barring the faith as a whole,”

Said Ryan, a man

Defending the ban

And mortgaging more of his soul.

Day 5

Tuesday 24 January 2017

A Twitter account for a park

Said CO2 data are stark,

And then what it tweeted

Was promptly deleted,

For sadly this timeline is dark.

“This hence is a National Day

Of Loving the US of A,”

Said Trump by decree

In what many see

As rather a Kim-Jong-Un way.

Day 4

Monday 23 January 2017

Undaunted, Sean Spicer replied

& gave a defence of his side.

“It’s not like we’re trying

To profit from lying

To people on purpose,” he lied

Day 2

Saturday 21 January 2017